Charms and Blessings
by gyo mapuri
Summary: Avenging comrades is common among Spiders. But when Finks' best friend almost died, all he could ever think was save that precious life...or commit suicide. Spider-centered.


**_DISCLAIMER: _****The characters and the manga/anime belong to Yoshihiro Togashi_._ Only the plot of this story belongs to gyo mapuri.**

**_NOTE: _****Appearance of the characters is based on the manga, not the anime. Hair color and skin tone may differ from the anime. [Kindly refer to Hunter X Hunter Chapters 104 to 123, onemanga dot com, if it is not inconvenient, of course.] Italics are flashbacks.**

**Oops! onemanga isn't operating as of now so...there are other sites, yes? (^_^)**

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**CHARMS AND BLESSINGS**

_"Waters may dry, flowers may die, but true friends will never say goodbye."_

**.**

Autumn leaves began to fall. They fell faster as a strong presence slashed his way out of the branches holding those brightly-colored foliages. Cold sweat running from pale yellow hair collided with the rays of the morning sun, producing a tiny rainbow which faded almost instantly in the thin air.

Finks wasn't tired. In fact, he was stronger than he was before. But his limbs were shaking so wildly, imploring him to run faster. Faster than lightning. Faster than the wind. He was threatened. Threatened. He might lose his everything. His fortune. His luck. 'Don't. Just don't. I beg you. Please don't die.'

"_I want to join you guys."_

"_The reason?"_

"_I just want to see him closer."_

His sweat grew even colder. Not now. Not now. He'll surely die. He'll surely die. He can't afford to lose his lucky charm. Anything but that. Anyone but him.

_He pouted. "Man, you should take a bath at least once a week." He sniffed the bubbles floating on the big tub. "Tch. You smell like a corpse. Just how many years have passed since the day you took your last shower?"_

_A splash on his face was the answer which struck his unassuming eyes._

"_Aww! So that's how you repay me for my kindness."_

"_I never told you to be kind to me. I can scrub my back if I want to."_

"_Yeah, yeah. But not as effectively as I can. Gehehehe."_

His forehead was sweating all the more. Some fell down his face. Others landed right into his eyes. That didn't feel good. Damn his brow skins for being so barren. Forget it. This isn't a lack-of-eyebrows issue. He must run faster or he'll lose everything. Well, if circumstances turn cruel, he can kill himself, right? 'Hah, you think you're the only one who can die dramatically?'

"_Finks, you loser,"_ he could hear that voice ringing back to him. _"You're no match for me."_

"I am!" he shouted at the falling leaves. "I'm gonna show you so don't you dare die! Don't you dare!"

"_So, where do we go next?"_

_He did not answer. He was gazing so seriously that his comrade stabbed him with a glare. He grinned. "Seriously, you look better with that. I told you. Yellow suits you well," he said tugging the shirt the other was wearing._

"_Shut up. It's way too bright. And these white pants. You're insane."_

He gripped the lilies harder. No. Not so hard. They might break. The bastard needed these troublesome flowers to cement the healing ritual. He held them gentler. It was hard. Running as fast as he could while not inflicting the slightest damage on these freaking white plants. He learned to be gentle. All for that idiot. "Don't you dare die. Don't you dare."

He might sound pathetic but he just can't let that freak die. He can't. He can't. Autumn leaves flew towards the sky together with his memories.

**.**

A flock of ravens swooped down to peck the pieces of garbage scattered on the filthy ground. A shadow peered silently on a tiny hole scarring that ruined building. How long was it? Weeks? Months? Years? He's not good at counting but he's sure it started a long time ago. This daily activity of his.

His _target_ moved. 'There he was. He…took his clothes off?' He frowned in disgust. 'The heck? What's he doing? A solo flight?' There was a splash of water which shook all his malice away. 'Yeah, right. He's taking a bath.'

It was a long time ago since he started poking his nose on that guy's business. He was a child back then. His mother died giving birth to him and his father took care of him for a while. But soon, he got tired and left a seven-year-old Finks to an old hag who threw him inside that big dungeon. He wasn't the only imprisoned one back then. There were many of them, including big, strong men whose only desire was to tear him apart and feast on his flesh. The old woman never provided food for her prisoners, not even water, so that they would need to kill and eat each other in order to survive. He learned many things from his father so life wasn't hard for him. Killing his fellow prisoners was fun. Soon, he got bored and wanted to get out. The problem was he couldn't. The prison was like a maze and there was no way out. All his efforts seemed so futile that he wanted to give up and end his life.

Everything changed when a new prisoner came, a pretty little girl, about four years of age. Her raven hair was in braids and she wore a silken robe adorned with prints of leaves and yellow flowers. She never spoke and she was so frail and pale. But she was strong. The tiny knife she used to carry was her only weapon yet she defeated and ate every person blocking her way. He was drawn to her, not just because she was beautiful and strong. It was more than that.

He began to follow her. Everywhere she went, he was there. After all, he always met luck whenever he saw her. He hid himself of course. She might kill him. But one day, he saw her taking a piss. And he saw that thing dangling between those legs. The pretty child was not a girl but a boy. Nevertheless he followed him. He couldn't stop. He didn't want to lose track of that tiny one. It was a good choice. That little creature found the exit and smashed it open with an arm he got from one of his victims. There and then, a belief was entrenched on his young mind: that boy_is_ his good luck charm.

A raven flew down and landed on Finks' head disturbing his reminiscing. He felt something hot. 'Damn bird took a dump on my head!' he thought angrily. There was another splash. He completely ignored the smelly thing on his hair and concentrated on his peeking. 'Ah, there. He really _is_ taking a bath.'

Finks couldn't help but wonder how a man could have such a frail stature. Ten years have passed since the first time he saw the guy but he didn't seem to grow. No, of course he grew but he remained so small. And his hair was just so beautiful and long and well, his face was really pretty. 'Man, how could he be a guy?' he thought.

There was another splash. He looked on. The right hand was gently combing the long silky hair while the other hand poured water slowly. Slowly. That pale skin looked so smooth. As smooth as the silken robe thrown carelessly on the ground. It wasn't that old robe though, and it wasn't a white one this time but a purple one.

"Hey, thug! What are you looking at?" asked a loud male voice thundering behind him.

"None of your business," he replied.

"Oh?" There were other guys behind him. Four? Five? There were six. And they all looked strong. "You dare speak to us like that?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. I'm just looking at my good luck charm. Happy now?"

The biggest of the men shoved him away and peeped at the hole where he was peeping. "Ooh! What a pretty lucky charm! That lovely lady is your friend and you didn't introduce us? You're so mean!"

"Hey!" chorused the others. "Pretty girls are a rarity nowadays!" And they all broke into the hard stone wall.

Finks smirked. "That one isn't a lady, you idiots." He could hear those guys shout in horror. "And he isn't merciful either." He stared back at the now large hole. His lucky charm was there, stepping over those severed bodies drenched in blood. The garment. It wasn't the robe. Where did he get that?' He took his tiny knife and grabbed his long nice hair. And he cut it off. "The heck?" Finks hid. He felt regret for such beautiful tresses but he must leave. The guy might see him. He didn't want them to fight. But the moment his lucky charm left, he grabbed the hair and the purple cloth and shoved them down his pocket.

Years passed. He carried on with his activity, but he couldn't do it daily. That other guy grew more like a man. Stronger. Sharper. 'Well, he's really a man no matter how fragile he looks,' he thought. But his talisman's behavior was confusing. He knew there was someone following him yet he didn't make a move to send his nosy stalker to the afterlife. No. He tried to locate the culprit many times but Finks was good at escaping. In a way, it helped him improve his speed. It gave him a nice feeling too. Ah, that man was surely a nice, nice talisman. A lucky charm.

Then, he was not able to stalk close anymore. The pace grew faster than it was before. All he could do was stare miles away using his stolen binoculars. How in the world could he carry on like this?

Time passed. They grew stronger. He and that lucky charm of his. He couldn't get an inch closer. Instead, he was driven farther. Damn. He couldn't just carry on like this. That guy might escape his sight. He might lose all his luck. 'What in the world am I gonna do?'

"I am the head, you are the limbs. Your duty is to obey my orders. However, it doesn't mean that my life is your top priority. In any case, it is not the individual that must live but the Spider."

Finks rolled his eyes upon seeing the movements of that one-length-haired man. Damn that guy and those other five around him. They made his life even more miserable. They were strong. Strong enough to sense him even though he was so far away. He was driven even further from his lucky charm. 'This isn't good,' he thought. He wasn't contented anymore by just watching that guy from a distance. He needed to get closer. "Well, how could I possibly do this?" he asked himself scratching his head.

Golden sunlight struck his face imitating the wind blowing him all over. He made his decision. Ravens flew away. That day, he found himself standing before those seven people. Those two women, four men and their leader.

"My name is Finks. I want to join you guys," he announced.

The raven haired man scrutinized the newcomer with his round black orbs. "The reason?"

"Well," he said without thinking, "I just want to see him closer."

The leader blinked. "Who?"

He stared at the guy sitting beside the blue-haired woman. "This lucky charm you've got." He grinned and gave a wink. He held a hand out. "Hey, I'm Finks. You're name is?" A kick was all he got. That was painful. "Whoa! You sure are a wild lucky charm!"

Those almond-shaped eyes narrowed in disgust. "You annoy me."

The giant and the ronin made fists in the air and yelled in excitement. "Yeah! This is gonna be a nice showdown!"

After that, no more peeking. No more stalking. His lucky charm stayed beside him from that day on. It didn't mean, however, that they were always together. The guy had his own business too. Private matters. But when missions came, they always stood side by side. Strengthening each other. Killing targets together. Torturing those dimwits to death. They always held the same opinion. The same interests. The same views and ideals. His lucky charm finally got closer to him. Closer. He wasn't _just_ happy. It was more than that. More than that. It was elating. 'He _is_ a lucky charm indeed. A lucky charm.' In time, he made his first request.

"Can I stalk you again? Like what I did before?" he asked sheepishly.

A confused gaze met his face. But the man nodded. That was nice.

And time came, he wanted another thing. "Can I stalk you closer?" he asked, his voice trailing off in the cold air.

Those tiny eyes were unreadable according to their comrades. Not even their leader could decipher the meaning of the cold glare beneath those orbs. But Finks knew what that look meant. He always knew. No more explanations were needed. They understood it fully. Inside him, he was completely satisfied. He knew his lucky charm knew it too. Years passed.

"I told you. Yellow suits you well," he said.

His companion did not look angry but he opposed the taller man's comment. "Shut up. It's way too bright. And these white pants. You're insane. I'm not a child. Can't you pick another color?"

"Nope," he said grinning wider. "Man, I do thank that stupid Queen Ant for ripping your damn clothes off. Why, if not for her, you couldn't have taken a bath and changed clothes, no?"

That fateful day came. They received news that their leader was freed from the nen which bound his heart. They celebrated. They let their guard down. And Finks' world crumbled. The very chains which killed two of their comrades struck the person who meant everything to him.

**.**

Autumn leaves were no more. He was making his way through a wide desert. Even that sandy landscape began to move far away as he advanced towards the rocky plateau. He saw his comrades staring at him from above. He couldn't see their faces anymore. There were wet things falling from his eyes. The heck. When in the world did he ever learn to cry?

"Finks…" It was Nobunaga. Was that pity? The expression written on the ronin's face? "The flowers aren't needed anymore."

The lilies fell from his hands. Just like the way his knees fell to the hard ground. His comrade's voice was so solemn. It made him want to shout his loudest but no voice would come out of his throat. 'What is this feeling? Is this the way Nobunaga felt the day Ubogin died? No. No way. He can't die. He can't.' His body grew stiffer than before. So stiff yet trembling. He couldn't speak. He couldn't move. He couldn't even close his eyes. No way. He couldn't afford to lose him. Not now. Not now. He might as well as die. _Die?_

A hard punch…brought him back to his senses? Wrong. It was painful but it didn't really affect him. "Oi, Finks! Stop it. You look so stupid. Why don't you go and join him there?"

He laughed a bit. "Yeah…that's…that's what I intend to do." He grabbed Nobunaga's sword and pulled it out of its sheath.

"Oi! Finks!" They all tried to grab him but his strength grew so strong that even Franklin couldn't subdue him. "Finks! Finks! Snap out of it! This isn't like you! Hey!"

"Don't be stupid! That's not what Nobu meant! Oi!"

"He thinks he's the only one who has the right to die? Hah! He's dreaming!" He pointed the sword to his throat. "I can die gloriously too, you know—"

A hard slap marked his face red. "Finks." It was their leader. He stared at the empty space between Machi's hair and Kuroro's fur. "Stop it. He is alive."

The sword fell. He couldn't think of anything else but run towards that straw hut. He rushed to the bed where his lucky charm lay. And he sure forgot all his formalities. He didn't take into account any boundaries. All he knew was that he was hugging that little body staying still on the blanket. The other one was obviously breathing, although he was so fast asleep.

"Thank God…" he murmured. Just when did he ever begin to believe in God? He didn't care. But if there was a deity out there, he was willing to worship him anytime for this miracle. His comrade began to move. He laid him back as gently as he could, just like the way he held those white lilies. "I'm sorry. Are you alright? Do you feel anything bad or something?"

Those eyes blinked at him. "Finks?"

**.**

Is he alive? He could feel the wind. It felt so cold. So cold. It was whispering. Whispering.

_Cursed, cursed, cursed, cursed, cursed…._

A hard blow on his head. A kick on his chest. Angry hands grabbing his hair. He was thrown to the ground. His skin began to bleed. His arms were twisted so painfully that he screamed.

"That's right. Scream, you wretch. It serves you right."

His feet were bound in chains. Heavy chains which made it difficult for him to move his tiny body. He heard the sound of whipping. It was on his skin. His clothes. His hair. Everywhere. He wanted to run but the chains won't let him. He tried his best to stay breathing.

_Cursed, cursed, cursed, cursed, cursed…._

It was raining hard. He couldn't see any meteors. He turned his eyes towards her cold, cold body. He wondered why she wouldn't move anymore. Was it because he buried that sharp, sharp knife on her throat? Look at her. She was red all over. He dipped his tiny fingers on that red water and brought it to his mouth. It made him crave for more. Soon, he was eating her big, big eyes.

"_Heh? She died?"_

"_I told her to kill him when he was still unborn but she didn't. Look what happened."_

"_She tried to but he wouldn't just die. That cursed one."_

He walked. The chains were not heavy anymore but it grew a little tight. He clutched the knife tighter. They were trying to shoo him away. All of them. They tried to grab him but they fell to the ground before they could even touch him. Then, they won't move again. He smiled. Slitting throats was fun.

"_He's the son of a wicked spirit. Stay away from him."_

"_You monster!"_

"_That half-demon…"_

Toothless gums. A wrinkled face. An old weathered hand. "Oh, so you are the terror of this village. Curse, eh. Unfortunately, I'm not superstitious. Come, let me take care of you. My prisoners are dying to eat some fresh, tender meat."

_Cursed, cursed, cursed, cursed, cursed…._

She removed the chains only to place heavier ones. Afterwards, he was inside that big, dark hole. But she touched his skin. He didn't like it. He moved a finger. Her head was torn into two right the moment he fell. Her brains. Her brains were greasy. People. Hungry men. They lunged at him. Oops. He overdid it. Their heads rolled away from their necks. Seriously, slit their throats tenderly, you damn kid.

All of a sudden, there were eyes looking at him. He tried to get away. He broke the chains on his feet. He ran. He killed. The eyes won't stop looking at him. He smashed that dark place and returned to the surface. He cut off his long braided hair and shed the silken robe he used to wear. The eyes were still there.

Whatever he did, wherever he went, the eyes were there. Hiding from him. Watching him from a distance. The eyes kept following him for days. And weeks. And months. And years. He just noticed something. Nobody called him a curse anymore. Did something happen?

"A curse can only be lifted through a blessing." The eyes. The eyes must have lifted the curse. The eyes. The blessing.

The eyes were nosy though. They were always there. Always there. Sometimes behind him, sometimes in front of him. He tried to catch them but the one possessing them was agile. Soon, the eyes stayed away from him. Far away. But he still felt their nosy presence from a distance. Still, he tried to find it while eliminating every obstacle on his way. With that, he caught the eye of a man named Kuroro Lucilfer.

"I am the head, you guys are the limbs. As limbs, your function is to obey my orders. However, it doesn't mean that my life should come first. It is not the individual that must live but the Spider."

The eyes were still there. They never left him since the day they saw him. The blessing remained. Somehow, he wanted to see them face to face. How could those eyes be so shy?

"I could sense another presence," said she who possessed lock after lock of sky-like strands. "It has been following you."

"Yeah," agreed the giant. "It was already there since you came."

"It has been following me ever since I was a kid," he replied matter-of-factly.

"Tch, how troublesome," murmured the ronin. "Shall we help you catch it?"

He grinned. "Sure."

The eyes began to keep further distance but it remained watching him. It never left. Did those eyes need something from him? It made him smile. There's no need to be so shy.

"My name is Finks. I want to join you."

Raven eyes narrowed and scrutinized the newcomer. "The reason?" asked the leader.

The man shrugged. "I just want to see him closer. This lucky charm you've got." The eyes landed on him. That stare surprised him. The eyes. Those were the eyes. The eyes which followed him for years. He would never be mistaken. "Gehehehehe. It might sound crazy but I picked up the hair and clothes you threw. Tch. You sure like to ditch things, don't you?" A hand was held out to him. "I'm Finks. You are?"

A kick was his answer.

"Whoa! You sure are a wild lucky charm!"

Tch. What an irritating blessing. "You annoy me," he hissed. Well, a blessing will always be a blessing no matter how annoying it might be. He needed it somehow. He didn't want to be called a curse all his life.

"Can I stalk you closer?"

The blessing wanted to stay close. Not bad. He wanted it to happen anyway. The Danchou must have known the story between them. They were always sent together, teamed together, always in the same group. Well, they shared the same preferences and ideals. Always had the same opinion.

"Hey," he said to the blessing. "Why do you keep following me?"

Those eyes blinked for a while. "Well, you're my lucky charm, you know. I can't live without all the luck you give."

It was his turn to blink. He didn't expect it. A lucky charm?

"_Charms. Talismans. Sometimes, they weren't just bringers of good luck. In some cultures, they were even worshipped. They are said to be powers descending from the gods. That is the reason why some people keep them close. To those who believe, such talismans are something worth fighting for. Worth dying for."_

Was it supposed to be a joke? How in the world could he be a lucky charm? The very woman who gave birth to him tortured him day after day and almost killed him hadn't he killed her first. Those people surrounding his very house wanted him dead. More so, he _is_ just a limb of the Genei Ryodan. Could be replaced anytime. Not so easy though. He would kill anybody trying to get his place.

"Whenever I see you, I know my day would be fine."

This fellow thinks he's really important. But it might be a trick. A trick to kill him. He couldn't just give his trust to anybody. "If I'm going to kill myself," he said, "what would you do?"

The other seemed disturbed. "Hey, you're not going to kill yourself for real, right? If you do, I'll kill myself too."

That made him wonder. Before he knew it, he had uttered a tiny "why".

"Well," Finks said frowning. "Why would I kill myself?" He cupped his chin with his palms and thought really hard. "Hn, I don't really want to live unlucky all my life. So I guess I'll kill myself the moment you die." The big frown turned into a grin. "Hey, let's quit talking about dying stuff. That Greed Island game was cool, don't you think? Wanna play it again?"

He turned his eyes to the sky. "You have the joystation with you?"

He couldn't hear an answer. He was dragged away by the sound of chains. When he opened his eyes, there were those eyes as red as the roses blooming all over them.

"This is the restriction. You have to tell me everything. Where are your comrades?"

He closed his eyes. "I don't know." His heart was crushed inside.

He moved a little. The wind wasn't cold anymore but it sure was whispering something. "Thank God…Thank God." He opened his eyes. So it's true. He really _is_ alive. He could feel the warmth of his blood. The beating of his heart. He really _is_ alive. He stared at the blond haired man staring back at him.

**.**

"Are you alright? Do you feel anything bad or something?"

"I'm alright." They stared at each other for a while. The smaller man blinked and ended the silence enveloping the two of them. "That was close."

Finks gripped those hands in his bigger palms. "Yeah. Really close. I really thought you we're going to die."

Somehow, his lucky charm managed to give him a smile. "You're disappointed?"

"Hell, no!" he said raising his voice. "What in the world made you think that way! I'm so grateful you're alive, you idiot! I almost went crazy looking for your antidote and…and…" Those stupid tears were there again. "Don't you dare put you life in danger again. 'Cause if you do and get yourself killed for real, I'm going to kill myself so I could chase your soul and beat you to a pulp, you get that?"

"Tch, nonsense. You can't even beat me here. More so in the afterlife."

Finks frowned and wiped his tears away with his arms. He couldn't use his fingers for they won't let those small hands go. "Shut up. Do you really feel okay now?"

There was no answer. Those eyes stared at the blanket as white as the fallen lilies. "Do you know the reason why the evil grass gets to live long?"

He frowned all the more. "You're making me look stupid again. Of course I don't know. Actually, I really don't know any answers to your stupid riddles."

Feitan laughed. It wasn't sarcastic nor did it mock him. "Defensive, aren't we? The answer is simple. It's because there's another evil grass holding it in place. You understand it now?"

He closed his eyes for a while and exhaled. "Yeah." He wasn't frowning anymore. His muscles relaxed involuntarily somehow upon knowing that this idiot pal of his remained alive. The face of the raven-haired boy named Gon, the chain guy's friend, came to his mind.

"_It's_ _the act of saving a comrade! Why is it so hard for you to understand? That's the reason why Pakunoda-san wants to negotiate all by herself! That's the reason why Machi wants to stop you! They want to save your leader."_

He smiled. Companion. Comrade. Best friend. Whatever. To him, this fellow will always be his lucky charm. He understood it now. He had always understood it. He just didn't relate it. Whatever. "Get some sleep for now. Do you want something to eat?"

There was no answer. Feitan fell asleep.

**.**

"Jeez. Did you see that? Finks looked like a crying baby," Nobunaga remarked. It was so amusing that the headstrong man he used to bicker with shed real tears in front of them. "I never thought he would be so emotional. When Ubogin died, all I ever thought about was revenge. What he did. That was an attempted harakiri. He was really serious, don't you think?"

Shalnark sighed, shrugged and lifted his open palms to the air—the usual way. "You're right. He's very suicidal. If Feitan dies, Finks would really kill himself. Danchou's right. We've got to save his life or two limbs will die."

Karuto wasn't satisfied. He wanted to know more. "But when we fought the Chimera Ants and Feitan got hit critically, Finks said he didn't care, right?"

Shizuku nodded. "That's true. But when it looked really critical, he did advise Fei to switch with Bono."

Franklin put his large fingers on her head. "Right. Feitan is his best friend no matter how you look at it. He is the reason why Finks joined the Ryodan. They must have some history when they were younger. Of course Finks won't admit it. Even Feitan wouldn't. It was like a silent contract between them that only the two of them understood."

Everybody grew quiet when the subject of their discussion went out of the tiny cottage.

"Yo, Finks," Nobunaga called. "You okay?"

The other man smirked. "Yeah." Then he patted Nobu's shoulder. "I'm sorry I insulted you before. I understand it now. I understand everything. I'm really sorry."

"No need to apologize. Is he okay?" asked the ronin.

"Well, yeah." He turned towards their leader. "Danchou. Please."

Kuroro nodded. "As soon as he wakes up, our operations recommence."

"Immediately?" asked Abengane, the nen remover, and eyed the blond.

Finks grinned. "It's okay. He's as strong as before. He'll be alright." Then he looked away and stared at the cold, rocky ground.

"Okay, then. We will resume next week," announced the leader.

"EEH?" chorused the others, obviously surprised.

"But Danchou said…"

Kuroro Lucilfer smiled. It was warm and gentle. Plus, it was one hundred percent genuine. "We're all tired, aren't we? And we can't just let that guy in the hut strain himself and die because this other guy here will kill himself for sure, right, everyone?"

"Hai, hai," Shalnark said smiling.

Finks smiled sheepishly. "Danchou, stop it. It's embarrassing, you know."

-+**OWARI**

**_Additional Notes:_**

blessing/ the eyes=Finks

lucky charm=Feitan

ronin=Nobunaga

giant=Ubogin

blue-haired woman=Machi

Danchou=Leader=Kuroro

"The evil grass gets to live long." -A popular Filipino saying "_Ang masamang damo, matagal mamatay_."

Karuto Zaoldyeck, Killua's younger brother who joined the Spider after declaring Hisoka in default.


End file.
